Capt. Crankypants

THE TOUGHEST JOB IN THE TRUMP WHITE HOUSE

In administrations past it might have been speculated the toughest job to be the President but as we all know, Trump has hours and hours of Executive Time each day to lay around and watch cable news, tweet endlessly on whatever random mind-burp seizes the bowl of lukewarm tapioca he calls a brain and hydrate himself with Diet Cokes until he's sweating Aspartame so that's certainly not the hardest job anymore.

Okay, who resigned or got canned this week?

It might have been thought to be Chief of Staff -- a position that overlooks the activity of everyone employed in the White House. This person has to make sure that everyone else is doing their job so there's a lot of responsibility there to be sure but, still, no, that's not it either.

Could it be the Press Secretary? This person has to interpret the President's words so that they can be understood by all. This is critically important since the slightest miscommunication could impact the country in various ways such as the stock market, the economy, national security...but, nahh. Sean Spicer and Sarah Huckabee Sanders spent so much time lying, spinning and generally mangling the truth that the argument could be made that we never actually got to hear any of it anyway.

How about Vice President -- c'mon, let's be real.

Okay, then what is the toughest job in the Trump White House, smartass? Cranky can hear you asking. Well, I'll tell ya...

It's the person who has to keep track of the personnel files. The one who keeps current all the names of those who work at the WH and then no longer work at the WH. This person's job is never done because Trump can't get along with anyone. No one stays employed there very long either because people eventually get tired of his shit or he fires them for whatever reason he comes up with. As I write this, Trump has been President for less than three years and in that time he's gone through 38 top-level executives -- all people who were either fired or resigned.

Were all of these people incompetent at their jobs? Well, most of them were dreadful people that only an idiot like Trump would've hired in the first place. Names like Scaramucci, Spicer, Banon, Pruitt, Omarosa, Porter, Flynn, Sessions, Acosta, and Bolton to name a few. These were bottom of the barrel selections but some others were people with very impressive resume's and personal integrity who simply couldn't work with Trumpty-Dumpty no matter how hard they tried. People like Mattis, Kelly, Rosenstein, Comey, NcMaster, Yates, and McCabe -- the people who tried to be the adults in the room but just couldn't control the spoiled rotten child that was in charge.

So this poor, overworked administrative foot soldier, whomever he or she may be, has to endlessly revise these personnel files with each new firing or resignation and with each new warm body that comes in to replace them but who will inevitably be following them out the door as well. This person's job is never finished and never will be so long as President Dumbass is in office.

I hope he or she just looks at it as job security, at least until Trump gets around to firing them too.