Capt. Crankypants

PREMATURE REDECORATION

In a decidedly premature display of naked anticipation, vice president Mike Pence was seen measuring the Oval Office for new drapes and adding a few other personal touches. He 's hung a large crucifix just over and behind the president's chair and placed a framed picture of his wife, Karen, on the desk.

Dear Lord, I really want to be president!

Asked if he didn't think he was jumping the gun just a bit, Pence stated, "I have no doubt in my mind that president Trump will be exonerated on all of these spurious charges. The Dem witch hunt to impeach this president will fail and the Lord's justice will prevail."

Asked why then did he seem to be redecorating the office with his personal things, Pence reassured us that he was simply carrying out the president's wishes. "The president has asked me to personalize the office with more  of my things to foster a greater relationship of mutual respect and cooperation."

At this point, Trump walked into the office and angrily ordered Pence to "Take all this shit down, now!"

Pence did so and placed his box of things in a corner of his office muttering to himself, "Soon."