NOW YOU SEE IT, NOW YOU WON'T

President Donald Trump has made a brilliant discovery that, once applied, will reduce the number of confirmed coronavirus cases down to a trickle.  This is great news in light of the current surge that has brought much of the reopening efforts to a halt in the wake of all the new cases that have been identified since these premature reopening efforts were begun...prematurely.

Trump has determined that the spike in new cases is the result of too much testing, a simple and obvious fact that none of the medical professionals on Trump's advisory staff managed to see. Basically, his logic works like this -- if we don't test so much, we won't confirm so many new cases and that will bring our number of confirmed cases way down and he'll look better going into re-election.

Is this the face of genius? Let's hope not.

"It was a brilliant realization. How did we miss it?" said Sen. (R) Louie Gohmert. "The man makes me proud to deny reality." Sen. (R) Lindsey Graham added. The implications for this reach far beyond the COVID-19 problem, it could be applied to any situation that we don't like and want to deny: foreign policy, taxation police brutality -- it works with anything to make it look better.  "If you ignore it, it can't hurt you." Vice President Mike Pence said, summarizing the President's plan. "Serving this genius President has been the honor of my life. I almost wish he had kidney disease so I could donate a kidney to him."

Trump's support base were quick to give their marmalade messiah the credit they felt he deserved. "He's the most smartest man who's ever lived!" one supporter enthused. "I wish I was a woman so I could have his baby!" 

Everyone is eagerly anticipating much lower numbers to soon follow as Trump's plan of 'if we ignore it, it'll go away' is implemented.

TRUMP RALLY ATTENDED BY THOUSANDS OF EMPTY SEATS

This past Saturday night, the marmalade colored monkey held his hotly anticipated return to form as the centerpiece of the ego feeding frenzy known as the Trump rally where he stands center stage grinning like a gargoyle while thousands of undiagnosed mental defectives cheer him on.

This was to be Trump's night -- a display of his popularity unaffected by the COVID pandemic. Trump and his toadies boasted up to 1M people had inquired about tix to the event and they anticipated a sell-out crowd inside the venue with a secondary sell-out crowd in the overflow seating area as well.

Then reality kicked Trump in the nads.

Every empty seat was mocking Trump, belittling his
manhood and calling him a loser.

With a total turnout of a mere 6200 out of a possible 20,000, the message was clear: We still love you, Lord and Master Donald  but we're not getting sick just to hear your self-serving message and lame attempts at making a joke.

I don't believe for one moment that Trump has lost that much support, something else was in play that discouraged attendance beyond even the thousands of TikTok teens that punk'd Trump's campaign staff with thousands of fake ticket requests -- I've never been more proud of America's youth.

In the end, I believe it was the virus that kept the Trumpanzees in their homes. So don't get too complacent by the spectacular failure that was the Trump rally in Tulsa. Hysterical though that was, we can't stop  fighting against this insect til he's truly squashed in November.