Capt. Crankypants

NEW SPONSOR: LAW OFFICES OF GIULIANI & BARR

Are you a world leader engaged in corruption? Do you think the Constitution is just paper with which to wipe your ass? Do you want legal representation with absolutely no morals, scruples, integrity, or conscience getting in the way?

Then you want the representation of Giuliani & Barr -- Attorneys at Law.

Giuliani & Barr -- faces you can trust.

Giuliani & Barr know how to smokescreen, gaslight, distract, and misdirect to enable you with the best chances of getting away with your crimes. Should you be found out and prosecuted, Giuliani & Barr will be right there with you to obfuscate those charges and deliver to you a verdict of *Not Guilty based on insufficient evidence or reasonable doubt -- whichever works best.

So call Giuliani & Barr at 1-9.00-SCUMBAG and hire a winning team you can count on.

Unless shit goes bad then it's every man for himself.

*No guarantee of acquittal is being inferred or implied. Giuliani & Barr will not be held responsible for any judgments that do not favor our clients. All payments are due at the time of services rendered. No refunds are made for any reason. A DNA sample of each client will be kept on file. Do not make fun of the silly faces Giuliani will invariably make -- he's very sensitive about that.