Y'know how people joke about a zombie apocalypse? Well, it turns out it ain't no joke; there's an actual zombie apocalypse predicted to detonate within just three short years. That's according to Dr. Puggy Skeets, Research Director for the Institute of Undead Activity.
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| Zombies in synchronized attack down Central Ave. in upstate NY |
Dr. Skeets claims that increased evidence of pre-zombie activity is at the core of his prediction. This pre-zombie evidence includes such indicators as resurrection ceremonies practiced worldwide and prayers for lost souls gone wrong.
"The indicators are there. They can't be denied. If we don't start preparing now it'll be too late before we know it."
Asked if he was being an alarmist, Dr. Skeets said, "Don't you get it, they're freakin' zombies. Zombies! If we aren't going to be alarmed by zombies, what are we going to get alarmed over?"
Dr. Skeets suggests taking the precautionary steps of arming ourselves and shooting anyone that threatens us with attack.. "If your own mother lunges at you with blood all over her face and bits of flesh between her teeth, shoot the bitch."
If there is a zombie apocalypse approaching, that would be bad but do we really want to take our cue from someone with a name like Puggy Skeets who's already seeing these zombies everywhere and is advising you to shoot your mother?
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