DEMONS BREEDING WITH HUMAN FEMALES!
The Vatican has issued a dire warning that Satan is on the move and is actively propogating himself through inter-species breeding with humans. This is creating a species of human/demon hybrids known as either Humons or Demans. Either way, it's shocking!
"We must all pray for delivery from these unholy whatever the f**k they are before they come for our daughters, or the gay ones come for our sons, or the confused ones come for our pets!" warned Fr. Milton Lolly, Director of the Bureau to Monitor Satanic Activity -- a department tasked by the Pope to keep him apprised of any movements the Serpent of Old is making.
"Only through a sincere and loving relationship with Jesus can anyone hope to be protected from this growing threat. We must be ever vigilant and commit ourselves to Christ or we're as good as damned."
Asked if this crisis had anything to do with religious recruitment in the face of increasing atheism, Fr. Lolly replied "Not at all. The eternal fate of your soul is in your hands. We're simply making people aware of the dangers and what their options are to avoid the hellfire."
And what is the best option?
"Total unquestioning acceptance of the Christian faith."
Didn't see that coming.
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