DISCREDIT RATING

The Trump campaign is running out of ideas to discredit Joe Biden as a Presidential candidate. Trying to brand him as a socialist didn't take, saying he hates law and order and will destroy the police also fell on deaf ears, and Hunbter Biden is mostly played out. So none of it worked and time is getting very short -- the election is in just two weeks.

So the Trump campaign needs something they can use against Biden and their desperation is being reflected in the ideas that are being floated:

Biden challenging Trump's campaign 
manager to a fistfight.

 - Joe Biden worked as a border patrol agent in New Mexico during the 60s and let tens of thousands of immigrants in without checking for papers.

 - Biden was a major financial contributor to an anti-law organization called F-CK the PO-LICE.

 - That Joe Biden is a secret atheist who writes blasphemous poetry and posts anti-Jesus memes under the internet pseudonym, "H8rofGodxXx" 

 - That Joe Biden is working with a foreign government to get himself elected.

Okay, so they don't think that last one is so bad but the rest of it would be inexcusable. The fact that none of it is true and is easily disproven with a simple web search doesn't matter. They know no one who would vote for Donald Trump would ever do any research into anything so they can say whatever they like and it'll just be taken at face value.

DONALD TRUMP WINS AT IMPEACHMENT

Preziduhhhnt Trump loves to proclaim himself a winner at all times. To hear him tell it, he wins at everything he does, always. Well. as of last night, he can add yet another win to his vast list of dubious accomplishments -- he won at getting himself impeached.

Winning BIGLY!

Congratulations, Donald, you did it! There's been lots of Presidents but only a few have managed to get themselves impeached. You now belong to that very exclusive club. Not only did you get yourself impeached but you won the vote by a landslide! How proud you must be! But this is no time for the Prez to rest on his laurels, there's many more victories yet to claim. There's still so many more lies to tell, so many more scandals to detonate, so much more corruption to commit and less than a year to get it all done.

But wait, isn't there a Senate trial to be had?

Yes, there is but Mitch McConnell has already confirmed his intention to run a kangaroo court once the articles are sent to the floor so here's what I'd like to see happen; Nancy Pelosi is refusing to commit to a time when she'll turn over the articles of impeachment to the Senate so I think she should hold onto them until after the 2020 election to see if two things happen:

 - To see if Trump is re-elected
 - To see if the Dems can take control of the Senate

If those two things happen, then send the articles to the floor for a trial. That way, the Dems can deny the Repubs their rigged trial where they will just rubberstamp an acquittal for Trump and they can also remove Trump shortly after he's re-elected and spare this nation any more of that maniac's psychotic leadership.

Since there's nothing that precludes the Dems from pursuing this strategy I think that's the plan we should go with. If that means that we then have to deal with a President Pence, well, I didn't say it was a perfect solution, just the best one we have.

THE ALMIGHTY ELECTION

Evangelical Republicans often claim that Donald Trump was chosen by diving providence to be the President. Outgoing Secretary of Energy, Rick Perry, said so again just this week. If this is true then that would mean that God has most likely had a hand in the selection of everyone who's ever been President.

God looking over the candidates and 

considering who He likes best.

Makes sense, don't it? If God is going to involve himself in America's politics and particularly who gets to sit in the Oval Office then whoever gets the job was GOD's preference. So why do the evangelicals only ever support God's choice for President when it's a Republican? When GOD chose Obama last time around, the evangelicals lost their shit. They clearly felt that God had failed in his selection that time but as soon as there was another Repub sitting there they once again felt free to proclaim God's wisdom even though the guy God had chosen was Donald Trump, a sociopathic gameshow host with the skin tone of a radioactive Cheetoh and a dead marmoset on his head.

This all seems very disingenuous and I'm calling shenanigans on the evangelicals. If God's picking the Presidents then he's picking ALL of them, even the ones you don't like. So if you find a far left Progressive Dem like Sanders or Warren sitting in the big chair after November of 2020, remember, that was GOD's choice.

Who are you to question the wisdom of GOD?

REPUB HUB-BUB

The Republicans have their hands full in Congress trying to defend Donald Trump's actions relative to Ukraine. Now that the impeachment inquiry has gone public they're putting on their best show of indignation that them uppity Dems would make such a fuss about an inexcusable act of corruption they say never happened.

But they know it did which is why that rather than argue the substance of the allegations, they're screaming that it's uncalled for, and a farce, and, let's all say it together, a witch hunt. Except that it isn't so they have to defend him and to do that, they're going to have to put on a show, a piece of political theater called 'Stand By Your Man.' To this end they've cast all their best people in all their best roles.

- Rep. Jim Jordan plays the role of Angry Man, outraged that this sham is being allowed to happen. He yells a lot and demands the whistleblower be dragged into the spotlight. Nobody does loud and angry better than JJ so watch him as he turns his wrath all the way to eleven.

Angry Man doing his angry thing.

- Rep. Lindsey Graham plays the role of Indignant Man. incensed that the Dems would try to remove the President just for doing his job. Outrageous!

Graham being all indignant.

- Rep. Devin Nunes plays the role of Reader of the Facts. He presents the "facts" of the case in a measured voice that he hopes will convince viewers that what he's saying isn't total bullshit.

Nunes doing the measured thing

The remainder of the roles will be filled by various Republicans all proclaiming Trump's innocence and denying that he did anything wrong. The hope is that if they yell loud enough, deny hard enough, distract effectively enough, and confuse the issue, they can keep enough public support on their side to acquit without having to be held accountable.

It seems they want to go down in history as corrupt and spineless.

Go figure.

HERE'S AN INTERESTING THOUGHT

All Presidents get a library and museum for the display and preservation of their papers, records, and historical materials. No matter how disastrous a presidency is, he or she is going to get a library for having been President even if he or she gets impeached or even removed.

Which means Trump will get a library. Trump will.

What will Trump's contribution to the Presidential library system possibly be? Started in 1939 by FDR, all Presidents, even the bad ones, have contributed their historic documents to this system. Trump is an interesting case in that he neither reads nor writes anything and limits himself to about a 16-hour work week so apart from a bunch of self-serving Executive Orders that he signed and held up to the camera like a child proudly displaying a finger painting, I'm uncertain what the Donald Trump library is going to consist of other than just to be a repository of his corruption, stupidity, and lies, and possibly the Fox News program schedule and 1000 back issues of Hustler magazine he's been collecting since the mid 70's.

Henry Bemis on his appointment as 

Director of the Trump Library

I find it ironically amusing that a man who hates books and refuses to read anything will have a library named after him. While we're at it, why not create a class in business ethics and marital fidelity under his name as well and make them a college pre-requisite?

Makes just as much sense.

PRAY YOUR TROUBLES AWAY

Seeking to put an immediate end to the impeachment inquiry into the Trump White House, Vice President Mike Pence has tapped into his Christian powers of prayer and turned to God for help. Pence has been leading daily prayer requests, beseeching the Almighty to intervene on his behalf and stop the impeachment against Trump from proceeding.

Holy Father, please protect our corruption 
and smite our Democrat persecutors.

"He prays all the time, usually for the swift passage of Republican legislation but lately there's been a lot of requests for help with the impeachment." said Dem Senator Hank Branch. "I'm not sure if he expects God to reach down and use his God powers to make us forget about impeachment or if he's hoping all the Democratic members of the House spontaneously combust but he's clearly waiting for something to take place."

So far, Pence's prayers have gone unanswered as the impeachment continues to expand with each new outrage and act of defiance coming from Trump including a written notification to the impeachment committee that the White House will not cooperate with the inquiry and branding it as unconstitutional. An unusual charge to make against a procedure outlined in the Constitution.

Regardless, Pence continues his daily entreaties certain that God will come through for him. "There will be no impeachment of this President. It's wrong and Heaven won't allow it. It's just a matter of persistence. I will continue to pray until my prayers are answered and the Power of God prevails. His will be done." Pence said.

And what if God's will is that Trump be impeached and removed and all those who were complicit are met by the full force of law?

"That is not God's will."

I guess we'll see.

OH NO, IT'S TOGO!

The tiny Republic of Togo -- a country in West Africa -- wants so badly to become a player in global politics it has contacted the White House and left a message offering their service to investigate any of the Democrat rivals on which President Trump wants to get dirt.

"We will look into anyone the President wants us to and find the scandals no matter how deep they're buried." said Otome Otumbo, Under-Secretary of Political Objectives for the Togo government. "We'll prove Elizabeth Warren practices witchcraft, that Bernie Sanders is a High Priest in the Church of Satan, and Joseph Biden makes sex with crack whores. We can find it whether it's real or not. We hope this greatest of presidents will consider our offer."

It's certainly a tempting offer by Trump administration standards and the President has expressed his interest but he tempers that interest with skepticism. "I like it but Togo is a tiny place with not a lot of money. Their GDP is half my personal fortune. Still, I like what they're proposing and they have the right attitude. Maybe but I'm not sure."

Otumbo counters such concerns by arguing, "We are small but that is to our advantage. No one sees Togo coming and by the time they do see us, we've already taken many notes and shot much video."

Togo sees this move as a major step toward a larger role in global politics and hopes they can position themselves as the go-to country for this sort of government muckraking and political infighting. They've even gone so far as to have already branded themselves for this purpose with the simple but memorable slogan  -- GO TO TOGO.

When asked how this idea as government spies-for-hire came about, Otumbo replied, "Trump has created a political atmosphere rife with anger, paranoia, and desperation. In such an environment, opportunity is where you find it."

DIGGING IN THE DIRT

President Trump's been a busy bee of late, focusing almost obsessively on digging up as much dirt as he can on his chief Dem rival, Joe Biden. He's not letting anything stop him, least of all some pesky impeachment inquiry. Even as his presidency is crumbling around him , he is focused on his re-election and he needs dirt on Biden. Lots of dirt and he doesn't care where he gets it.  Trump is, if nothing else, fully committed to his corruption. So much so that although he's already getting help from Russia, Ukraine, and he's hoping from China too, he now wants to expand his search for dirt on Biden by engaging the help of everyone no matter who they are. So even if you don't have vast sums of money to give to his campaign, you can still help Donald Trump in his quest for a second (and maybe a third) term.

How? Easy. Dirt. Any kind of dirt.

Trump's strategy for victory in 2020

Are you a waitress that served Biden a meal and he didn't leave a tip or maybe he undertipped you? Trump wants to hear from you.

Are you a doorman who didn't receive a thank you from Biden after holding the door open for him? Trump wants to hear from you.

Are you a Girl Scout who tried to sell Biden a box of Samoas and he declined to make the purchase? Trump wants to hear from you.

Are you anyone at all who ever overheard Biden complain about the weather, or traffic or anything? Trump wants to hear from you.

Trump's search for dirt is his prime concern even moreso than the impeachment. He's got plenty of people and an entire right-wing news channel willing to help him beat that and when he does, he'll need that dirt.

Donald Trump LOVES dirt. Donald Trump WANTS dirt. Donald Trump NEEDS dirt.

Donald Trump IS dirt.

TRUMP SUPPORTER DISORDER

Yesterday, the Cheetoh-in-Chief lost it during a Press conference in the East room and then again in a follow-up shortly thereafter. Trump was enraged by the ongoing impeachment inquiry and made his frustration known by raving crazily about how the Dems are out to get him, and how he's being piled on by everyone like no President in history, that he's innocent of any wrongdoing despite a mountain of evidence to the contrary, and he even rolled out his "I am a stable genius." claim again. His fact-free, lie heavy, semi incoherent, paranoid rant was not unlike watching a monkey fling its feces at an enemy.

The man is am imbecile running unhousebroken throughout the office of the presidency and still there's his base who will not abandon him for any reason.

His freakin' base.

They don't care that he lies constantly, that he's corruption personified, that he's incredibly racist, that his entire network of friends and associates are criminals, that there's credible evidence that he's a traitor who's compromised by a hostile foreign power, or that he's objectively stupid and can't string together a coherent thought because nothing matters to them. Nothing whatever.

This is a sickness of some kind and I'm going to take the lead and give it a name -- Trump Supporter Disorder -- a neurological condition characterized by willful ignorance, selective amnesia, misplaced hero worship and an overall political dumbness that affects a certain breed of conservative and for which there is no known cure.

Are you a Trump supporter? Do you fear you may be a Trump supporter? Is there some way to qualify one's self as a Trump supporter? Well, now there is. The Political Testing Laboratory of Oxnard has created this simple quiz to definitively identify if you suffer from TSD.

All answers are Yes or No but feel free to embellish in the comments.

------------------------

1. Do you believe all of Trump's scandals are just Democrat hoaxes?

2. Do you masturbate to Trump's Twitter feed?

3. Do Trump's incomprehensible speeches make perfect sense to you?

4. Does Trump deserve a Nobel Peace Prize for...something?

5. Do you think Trump could do your 9 year old's homework correctly?

6. Would you trust Trump with your credit card?

7. Was Donald Trump chosen by God to save America?

8. Is all news fake except for what you hear on Fox?

9. Is Trump even qualified enough to be night manager at a Circle K?

10. Do you believe Trump's claim that he's a stable genius?

11 Do you make $35,000 annually and still think Trump cares about you?.

12. Do you wish Trump could be President forever and ever and ever?

--------------------------

If you said "Yes" to any three or more of these questions, you're delusional, ignorant, and either can't see reality or choose not to. In other words, we're sad to inform you that you're suffering from TSD and that, yes, you are a Trump supporter.

You may feel compelled to go out and kick a brown person, most likely an immigrant.

Don't.

THIS IS DIFFERENT HOW?

Republicans throughout Congress want it understood that the only reason we're not going to get affordable healthcare, lower drug prices, rebuilt infrastructure, higher wages and a whole slate of legislative Xmas gifts is entirely the fault of the Dems and their focus on impeaching Donald Trump. "We were all set to really go to work on healthcare, and education, and infrastructure, everything everybody wants until the Democrats shifted their focus off these issues to obsess on impeachment. You could've had healthcare reform by year's end if not for the Dems hatred of this President. Now you'll get nothing. What a shame but it's clear who's at fault. " said Senator (R)Jord Jimlan.

We're not working with you and 

you can't make us!

When it was pointed out that none of these issues were on the Republican agenda prior to the impeachment proceedings, Senator Jimlan replied, "We were right at the point of adding them when this Whistleblower nonsense broke and the Dems went nuts. Now all they want to do is impeach, impeach, impeach and nothing else so it's entirely their fault."

Although Progressives have continued to propose this sort of legislation during the impeachment inquiry, the Republicans have refused to consider any of it and instead have vowed to do nothing and simply allow all Democratic legislation die in the Senate as long as the impeachment continues.

In other words, nothing has changed but now there's an impeachment inquiry going on.

We'll take that and call it a win.

GOP SENATOR: TRUMP'S CORRUPTION IS OBAMA'S FAULT

Mired in the scandal of President Trump's Ukraine phonecall and the impeachment inquiry resulting from it, one Repub Senator wants it understood that Trump is merely a victim in this and that the real blame belongs to former President Barack Obama.

Democrat Corruption Virus?

"This whole thing is a Dem conspiracy to lay the blame for Obama's corruption at the feet of an innocent President Trump. I'm outraged by these brazen machinations to smear our President with the malfeasance of the previous administration!" said one Republican Senator who wished to remain anonymous but whose name may or may not rhyme with Tinsley Braham.

When asked to explain how former President Obama is responsible for a crime committed by current President Trump, the GOP Senator stated, "Look, it's obvious. Obama was the most corrupt and deceitful man ever to sit in the Oval Office so, of course, the molecules and  microbes of his corruption were left behind to infect the White House and whoever followed him." Anybody can see that."

Equating corruption to a communicable disease is medically questionable at best but the anonymous Senator is insistent. He's also not alone. Several other Repubs have gone on record in agreement with this theory claiming that political corruption is like catching a cold and Trump caught Obama's cold. "What we should've done was disinfect the Oval Office after Obama left but we worried about the optics of that so we didn't and now we're paying the price for that decision."

Another Republican added, "Hillary's also to blame in some way." 

Sure. Why not? Hey, anybody but Trump.

WHITE HOUSE PHONE PANIC RESPONSE TEAM

In the wake of the Whisrleblower scandal  White House officials have put together an emergency Presidential telephone response squad known as the White House Phone Panic Response Team or the WHOPPR Team. Now, whenever Trump makes or receives a call, a TelAlert is sounded and the team springs into action to surround the President and try to steer any conversation he's having back into safe territory if, or rather, when it goes off track.

There are three stages of TelAlert based on what kind of call is taking place. TelAlert 3 is the default and applies to calls to/from friends or family. This includes calls from Sean Hannity and Fox News in general.

TelAlert 2 applies to any calls to/from a domestic leader, any leader from any state or US commonwealth. This is an elevated alert condition but does not automatically trigger an emergency response although it can be upgraded if necessary if the President is speaking to Rudy Giuliani or William Barr.

TelAlert 1 is the automatic emergency condition and includes any calls to/from any foreign leaders with special emphasis placed on any calls to/from Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong Un, Mohammed bin Salman or, as of this week, the Ukraine

The team is authorized to use various levels of restraint on the President based on which

TelAlert status is in effect. These restraints run a wide range and can be as simple as a gentle nudge to more coercive moves like the "Tackle & Take" where the President is pulled to the ground and the phone is seized by a team member who tells the party on the other end that they've reached a wrong number and is then hung up. This response would've been especially useful during the President's call to Volodymyr Zelensky on Juy 25th.

WHOPPR Team members are primarily long serving military personnel who've been selected based on previous combat experience then augmented with special training in telephone intercessory techniques.

PREMATURE REDECORATION

In a decidedly premature display of naked anticipation, vice president Mike Pence was seen measuring the Oval Office for new drapes and adding a few other personal touches. He 's hung a large crucifix just over and behind the president's chair and placed a framed picture of his wife, Karen, on the desk.

Dear Lord, I really want to be president!

Asked if he didn't think he was jumping the gun just a bit, Pence stated, "I have no doubt in my mind that president Trump will be exonerated on all of these spurious charges. The Dem witch hunt to impeach this president will fail and the Lord's justice will prevail."

Asked why then did he seem to be redecorating the office with his personal things, Pence reassured us that he was simply carrying out the president's wishes. "The president has asked me to personalize the office with more  of my things to foster a greater relationship of mutual respect and cooperation."

At this point, Trump walked into the office and angrily ordered Pence to "Take all this shit down, now!"

Pence did so and placed his box of things in a corner of his office muttering to himself, "Soon."

RECIPE FOR IMPEACHMENT PIE

Ingredients:

 - 2/3 cup of sugar

 - 1/3 cup all-purpose flour

 - 1/4 teaspn ground cinnamon

 - 5 cups fresh impeaches 

  - 1 teaspn lemon juice

 - 1 deep dish pie crust

 - 1 or more violations of the Constitution and/or serious ethics violations

 - Total disregard for one's Oath of Office

 - 1 Donald Trump

Steps:

 - Pre-heat Congress to 400 dgs

 - Mix sugar, flour, and cinnamon together in a large mixing bowl then add in fresh sliced impeaches and lemon juice into crust. Add in Constitutional and ethics violations along with Donald Trump and the disregard for his Oath of Office. Crimp edges of crust. Place pie in the heat of a Democratic inquiry until top is golden brown then let stand until vote is taken and pie is good and done. 

 - Remove pie from office and serve to America and the world.

TRUMP LEGALIZES LYING BUT ONLY FOR HIMSELF

Tired of his integrity being questioned, President Trump has signed a new Executive Order  whic allows the president's version of any incident, event, ot report to supersede any other version thereby ostensibly making the truth whatever he says it is.

Look mommy, I wroted my name!

"The president has better things to do than argue with the fake news media over every little word that comes out of his mouth." said Kellyanne Conjob.  "So to obviate this issue, the president has granted himself the authority to define the truth as he sees fit. As president, it's his right to do so."

"Nobody knows better than I do about stuff." Trump said. "My brain is huge and I know best so the next person who says I'm lying about anything is breaking the law."

Uhhh, no comment.

STANDARDIZED PESIDENTIAL LETTER OF CONDOLENCE

The president is a busy man and, as such, can't be expected to compose a personalized letter of condolence for every notable death that makes the headlines. To address this, a standard letter of condolence has been drafted that will be tweeted as called for.

--------------------------

From the Desk of President Donald J. Trump

I'm saddened to hear that (NAME) has died. (NAME) was a good person but could've been nicer to me. (NAME) spent his/her career doing good work as a (OCCUPATION) without peer but would it have killed him/her to pay me a compliment or two along the way?

While death is sad and painful we must always remember that it's all part of God's great plan and (NAME) will now enjoy an eternity in Heaven. Unless (NAME) was an atheist and is burning in Hell. I would've prayed for their soul had (NAME) treated me with greater respect in life.

HERE CUM THE JUDGE

Another woman has come forward to accuse Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh of inappropriate sexual conduct from his college freshman days at Yale. This, along with several other allegations that came out during Kavanaugh's confirmation hearing in 2018, has alarmed the other Justices with whom he  shares the bench who now feel a bit uncomfortable with their newest colleague. "No one is saying he's guilty, that hasn't been established, but in light of the way these allegations keep popping up like a game of whack-a-mole, we feel that some proactive steps should be taken to protect the three female Justices in case Justice Kavanaugh's eye starts to wander in their direction." said a Justice who wished to remain anonymous.

These steps include unarmed bodyguards to stand behind each of the female Justices to intercede if necessary while each of the lady Justices will also be fit with a personal body alarm that they can set off with the push of a button, as well as a keychain can of mace.

"These precautions are in the best interests of these women although we are hopeful that they will not be needed. We trust Justice Kavanaugh will keep it in his pants. Well, we're hopeful anyway."

Justice Kavanaugh had locked himself in an executive restroom and could not be reached for comment.

DEMS VOTING TO CONSIDER THE POSSIBILITY OF DISCUSSING IMPEACHMENT

In the wake of Donald Trump's ongoing corruption to monetize the presidency through his resort properties playing host to a steady stream of Repubs, foreign dignitaries, military personnel and anyone else willing to stay in his fleabag hotels, the Dems are taking the bold and decisive step to vote to consider the possibility of maybe discussing the idea of possibly holding a hearing to maybe discuss impeachment.

"We feel that taking a vote to discuss the possibility of maybe impeachment is called for and justified at this time." said Dem Sen. R.H.. "We have been thinking about possibly discussing this as a thing we might do if it were justified...maybe."

Currently the vote is scheduled for Thursday, or maybe next Monday, possibly by the end of the month and certainly no later than mid 2019. 

"We're committed to this. We hope to have decided sooner or later to maybe take the appropriate action to discuss what needs to be, uhh, to be...wait, where was I going with this?"

Trump has nothing to worry about.

THE TOUGHEST JOB IN THE TRUMP WHITE HOUSE

In administrations past it might have been speculated the toughest job to be the President but as we all know, Trump has hours and hours of Executive Time each day to lay around and watch cable news, tweet endlessly on whatever random mind-burp seizes the bowl of lukewarm tapioca he calls a brain and hydrate himself with Diet Cokes until he's sweating Aspartame so that's certainly not the hardest job anymore.

Okay, who resigned or got canned this week?

It might have been thought to be Chief of Staff -- a position that overlooks the activity of everyone employed in the White House. This person has to make sure that everyone else is doing their job so there's a lot of responsibility there to be sure but, still, no, that's not it either.

Could it be the Press Secretary? This person has to interpret the President's words so that they can be understood by all. This is critically important since the slightest miscommunication could impact the country in various ways such as the stock market, the economy, national security...but, nahh. Sean Spicer and Sarah Huckabee Sanders spent so much time lying, spinning and generally mangling the truth that the argument could be made that we never actually got to hear any of it anyway.

How about Vice President -- c'mon, let's be real.

Okay, then what is the toughest job in the Trump White House, smartass? Cranky can hear you asking. Well, I'll tell ya...

It's the person who has to keep track of the personnel files. The one who keeps current all the names of those who work at the WH and then no longer work at the WH. This person's job is never done because Trump can't get along with anyone. No one stays employed there very long either because people eventually get tired of his shit or he fires them for whatever reason he comes up with. As I write this, Trump has been President for less than three years and in that time he's gone through 38 top-level executives -- all people who were either fired or resigned.

Were all of these people incompetent at their jobs? Well, most of them were dreadful people that only an idiot like Trump would've hired in the first place. Names like Scaramucci, Spicer, Banon, Pruitt, Omarosa, Porter, Flynn, Sessions, Acosta, and Bolton to name a few. These were bottom of the barrel selections but some others were people with very impressive resume's and personal integrity who simply couldn't work with Trumpty-Dumpty no matter how hard they tried. People like Mattis, Kelly, Rosenstein, Comey, NcMaster, Yates, and McCabe -- the people who tried to be the adults in the room but just couldn't control the spoiled rotten child that was in charge.

So this poor, overworked administrative foot soldier, whomever he or she may be, has to endlessly revise these personnel files with each new firing or resignation and with each new warm body that comes in to replace them but who will inevitably be following them out the door as well. This person's job is never finished and never will be so long as President Dumbass is in office.

I hope he or she just looks at it as job security, at least until Trump gets around to firing them too.

FUTURE TRUMP SCANDALS

Since the Cheetoh in Chief can't go 10 mins without a scandal here's just a few Cranky predicts will detonate at some point before this one-term shitshow mercifully comes to an end..

What stupid looks like.

 - Trump will be photographed tweeting on the toilet in the George W. Bush Memorial Bathroom while he's calling some congresswoman a "3 at best." 

 - Trump will be caught masturbating to a picture of Ivanka. 

 - Trump will pitch a reality show concept where cameras follow him day and night being president. He calls the show Greatest President Ever! The show airs only on Fox News. 

 - Trump gives the commencement address at Tuskegee University and tells the graduates they need to learn how to sound more white and exclusively vote Republican to better their chances at success. 

 - Trumpp is video-recorded being teabagged by Putin and calling him "daddy." 

 - Trump will be caught masturbating to a different picture of Ivanka. Ivanka takes out a restraining order prohibiting her father from coming within 100' of any photos of her. 

 - Trump demands his daily briefings be presented to him in the form of a coloring book that a subordinate actually has to color for him.