Despite still being an active storm, Hurricane Dorian took some time out from his busy schedule to answer a few questions.
Q. Dorian, have you been enjoying your tour of the Atlantic islands and coastline?
HD. It's been an interesting trip. I've seen a lot of different places and done a variety of damage to them.
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| Dorian humping the Florida coastline. |
HD. The Bahamas are beautiful and I wanted to look around while I was there but I should've been more aware that hanging around that long was going to create a lot of problems for them. I probably owe the Bahamas an apology for that.
Q. An apology? That's not enough. You devastated the islands, people are dead, lives are in ruin. Couldn't you have shown them some mercy?
HD. Maybe. I don't know. I'm a hurricane. Hurricanes are assholes It's in our nature..
Q. President Trump was very confused about what path you were going to take and claimed you had Alabama square in your sights. Did you, at any time, plan on hitting Alabama?
HD. Yeah, I''ve heard about the Sharpie thing. No. At no time was Alabama on my itinerary. Hurricanes plan these trips out in detail ahead of time and the NWS does their best to speculate on what route we're going to take but they're professionals. Trump is just a dumbass. People really ought to stop listening to him.
Q. Are you about finished pummeling America's Eastern seaboard?
HD. Not quite, I have some more damage to do but eventually I'll be heading back out to sea where I'll weaken and fall apart.
Q. You won't be missed.
HD. Hurricanes never are.
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