IT'S PAT!

In the aftermath of Trump's devastating public humiliation getting booed last week at Game 5 of the World Series, the White House has added an additional seven people to the President's Personal Approval Team. The PAT members are selected from among the President's base and are pro-Trump to the point of obsessive. Their responsibility is to stroke the President's ego at all times over anything he does regardless of how trivial it may be.

PAT Team Logo

The team trails behind the President all throughout the White House and cheer and clap at whatever he does or says. When the brushes his teeth, they cheer and applaud. When he signs a document, they cheer and applaud. When he makes a boom-boom, they cheer and applaud. They're on call 24/7 and no "accomplishment" is too insignificant to be ignored.  He once dropped a pen and picked it up to a standing ovation from the team.

"The President accomplishes so much every day: he signs his name, he eats his lunch, he ties his shoes and everything he does is praiseworthy. He rightfully expects to be praised and I'm so proud to be one of those selected to provide all that well earned adulation." said LuAnn Plopp, one of the ardent Trump supporters chosen for the team.

Team members are chosen from registered Republican voters who submit an application then submit to a background check, the semi-finalists are interviewed, vetted, then must meet with Trump for 5 mins. If he gives his approval, the candidate is offered the job typically within six weeks. Competition for a place on the team is fierce among his base and those chosen compare it to an almost religious experience.

"It's like how the disciples must have felt serving Jesus." said Charles Bauerchuk, another team member..

"I love my PATties. They're doing a tremendous, just a tremendous job. The best. They love me. They love their country. They 're just great, especially the one with the big tits." Trump enthused.

The "one with the big tits" is Choir Melange, and ex-pole dancer turned die-hard Trump supporter who made the team in the last round of selections after Trump interviewed her for 10 secs and replied "I want her." She was hired on the spot. She sums up her feelings for the job like this; "I would die for him. I want him to eat my spleen so we can always be a part of each other."

Sooooo yeah.

TOP 13 SIGNS YOUR HOUSE IS HAUNTED

Because 13 is a scarier number than 10 so in the spirit of Halloween here's the thirteen most prominent indicators to determine if your house is overrun with supernatural pests.

13: The Walls are Bleeding - well at least they're not puking! That'd really be gross!

12: There's a Zombie in your Shower - and his bits and pieces are falling off and clogging the drain!

11: A Nexxus to Hell Opens in your Pantry - and all the Doritos got sucked in!

10: You Call an Old Priest and a Young Priest - because Satan!

9: There's a Screaming Corpse in the Basement - and the noisy fucker is keeping you up all night!

8: Donald Trump is Still the President - because that's just always terrifying!

7: Goblins Braid your Hair at Night - but it's your pubic hair!

6: A Family of Skeletons Lives in your Attic - and you don't even have an attic!

5: There are Bodies Buried in your Backyard - and they're pissed!

4: A Coven of Witches Eat your Children - without your permission!

3: Did I mention a Nexxus to Hell opens in...yeah, I already did this one.

2: I'm running out of idea so we'll say Your Bed is Shaking - and not for a good reason!

And the number one sign your house is haunted...

1: People Pay Admission just to Walk Through!

Keep this list going by adding your own in the comments.

CRANKY INTERVIEW: MICK MULVANEY

On Oct 17th, Acting White House Chief of Staff, Mick Mulvaney gave a disastrous Press conference where he openly admitted that President Trump  was guilty of soliciting foreign interference from Ukraine in the upcoming 2020 presidential election to benefit himself -- a charge the President had been denying for weeks. The blowback from this admission has been explosive.

The Capt. Crankypants Blog has scored the first interview with Mr. Mulvaney since yesterday's historic screw-up.

Mick Mulvaney wondering if 

Home Depot is hiring.

CC: Welcome, Mick Mulvaney, acting Chief of Staff under Donald Trump.

MM: Thank you, Cranky. Nice to be here.

CC: Soooo, how does one put this; you really shit the bed, didn't you?

MM: Well, I think you're making more of the situ...

CC: No. You really shit the bed.

MM: Uhh, yes, I did.

CC: You openly admitted to the White House Press Corps that Donald Trump committed a crime.

MM: On reflection, I regret that choice.

CC: I'm sure you do. Was that a strategic decision made prior to taking the podium?

MM: Yes. It was believed that if we could normalize this sort of thing then we could get away with it now and in the future. After all, it had worked for the President in the past.

CC: But did it work for you?

MM: No. Regrettably, it did not.

CC: How would you describe the outcome of that press conference?

MM: I soiled the mattress.

CC: Are you saying you shit the bed?

MM: Yes. I defecated in the bed.

CC: You shit the bed, just say it.

MM: I defeca...

CC: You shit the bed.

MM: I shit the bed.

CC: I concur.

MM: I shit the bed.

CC: During that same Press conference you also stated that the Trump Doral Golf Resort in Miami was given the contract to host the 2020 G7 Summit. This is a property owned by the Trump Organization. Isn't that a direct violation of the Emoluments Clause?

MM: Nobody cares about that.

CC: I'm sorry, did you just say nobody cares about that?

MM: Not at all. Let me be clear; we don't expect that to be a concern for anyone.

CC: So you're hoping nobody cares about that.

MM: More or less. 

CC: Were any other properties considered to host the event?

MM: Many others but the Doral Resort was clearly the best choice.

CC: How so?

MM: President Trump owns the Doral.

CC: Did you just admit to another criminal offense of the Trump Administration?

MM: I probably shouldn't have said that. Disregard.  The Doral was chosen for reasons completely independent of its ownership.

CC: So you're walking back your previous statement like you tried to walk back what you said yesterday?

MM: I'm trying to.

CC: You're really not very good at this. In the wake of the fiasco you've created, what's next for Mick Mulvaney?

MM: Unemployment probably.

CC: Count on it. Trump is probably preparing the public statement of your firing as we speak.

MM: I have no doubt of that.

CC: Mick Mulvaney, soon to be Former Acting Chief of Staff and now world famous bedshitter, thank you.

MM: He also cheats on his wife and lies about everything.

CC: We know.

HERE'S AN INTERESTING THOUGHT

All Presidents get a library and museum for the display and preservation of their papers, records, and historical materials. No matter how disastrous a presidency is, he or she is going to get a library for having been President even if he or she gets impeached or even removed.

Which means Trump will get a library. Trump will.

What will Trump's contribution to the Presidential library system possibly be? Started in 1939 by FDR, all Presidents, even the bad ones, have contributed their historic documents to this system. Trump is an interesting case in that he neither reads nor writes anything and limits himself to about a 16-hour work week so apart from a bunch of self-serving Executive Orders that he signed and held up to the camera like a child proudly displaying a finger painting, I'm uncertain what the Donald Trump library is going to consist of other than just to be a repository of his corruption, stupidity, and lies, and possibly the Fox News program schedule and 1000 back issues of Hustler magazine he's been collecting since the mid 70's.

Henry Bemis on his appointment as 

Director of the Trump Library

I find it ironically amusing that a man who hates books and refuses to read anything will have a library named after him. While we're at it, why not create a class in business ethics and marital fidelity under his name as well and make them a college pre-requisite?

Makes just as much sense.

NEW SPONSOR: THE PET EXORCIST

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Don't put your doggie down, drive the Devil back to the depths instead!

HOLLYWOOD HAPPENINGS 2: NEWS FROM THE DREAM FACTORY

A remake of the tension filled 1957 courtroom drama 12 Angry Men is currently in development but with a twist -- it's being turned into a comedy.

Yeah, that's how we all feel about your movies.

You heard that right. Adam Sandler (who else) is producing and starring in the ill conceived remake through his shit factory, Happy Madison Productions. The original film starred Henry Fonda and a stellar cast of actors, all of whom delivered bravura performances in a film that has justifiably achieved classic status. So, naturally, Sandler wants to take a big wet dump all over it and turn it into a "comedy" of pop culture references, product placement, and fart jokes.

Co-starring all the SNL rejects he always hires, this cinematic abortion will be dumped into theaters in the Fall of 2021.

-------------------------------

Comedian turned horror movie auteur, Jordan Peele is hard at work on the screenplay of his next project, Black as Hell.

He's funny. He's scary. He's black. He's Jordan Peele.

Little is known about the script but word is that it tells the story of a black man who dies, goes to Hell and stirs up racial unrest when he's cast into the Lake of Fire surrounded by Neo-Nazis, Skinheads, and members of the KKK who are already burning there.  Things get even more heated after the black man meets and falls in love with the condemned soul of a white woman. The couple find an unlikely ally in the soul of Fred Trump (Donald's dad) who has apparently mellowed somewhat on his rampant racism since he bit the big one.

Racial tension is a common thread in Peele's work and given the quality of his previous films expectations will be high for this picture.

-------------------------------

Meryl Streep has signed on to provide one of the voices in the all star CG animated production of Girl Scout Cookies - The Movie!

Streep will play a box of Tagalongs that wants to run for President of the fictional world of Cookieland. She is aided by her staff of friends: her running mate, a box of Do-Si-Do's voiced by Mindy Kaling, her campaign manager, a box of Samoas voiced by Dwayne Johnson, her PR rep, a box of Thin Mints voiced by Billy Bob Thornton, and her legal counsel, a box of Savannah Sniles voiced by celebrity chef, Paula Deen. The cookies are trying to be stopped by the Keebler Elves who want to run their Girl Scout cookie knockoffs: a box of Coconut Dreams for President voiced by Harrison Ford and his running mate, a box of Grasshoppers voiced by Anne Hathaway.

The edible cast of Girl Scout Cookies - The Movie!

The picture is a co-production between Monument Studios, the Girl Scouts of America, and Keebler Foods® and is basically just a 90 minute ad for cookies masquerading as a family film.

Personally, I recommend you just buy some cookies and forget the movie.

-------------------------------

An all-female remake of the classic Stanley Kubrick war film, Full Metal Jacket is in development with Amy Schumer and Rebel Wilson attached in the iconic roles of Joker and Gomer Pyle. 

This guy wants to make a war movie

with a cast of comediennes.

This is a truly weird idea that could only have come from the mind of Paul Feig, the "visionary" behind the disastrous all-female Ghostbusters remake of 2016. The part of the uber-profane Gunnery Sargeant Hartman will be played by Melissa McCarthy, a frequent Feig collaborator.

Get ready for a lot of charges of misogyny if you don't like the film and the odds are pretty good you won't. Remaking any film is always a gamble but when you're remaking a classic the stakes go way up as the film will inevitibly be compared to the original so unless you've come up with a way to make a perfect film better, you're gonna suffer by comparison. This is what happened with his Ghostbusters remake -- he remade a movie that couldn't have been made any better than it already was. He's now flirting with a repeat of that same mistake.

Feig is writing and will direct the film. Why? Because apparently he hasn't learned his lesson yet.

-------------------------------

Russian supermodel, Tatiana, will make her big screen debut as the love interest of ex-Wolverine, Hugh Jackman, in the big screen adaptation of the New York Times bestselling espionage thriller, Up Your Fudge. Yeah, we know, that title makes no sense but neither does casting a supermodel who can't act and barely speaks English.

Hopefully Jackman will play most of his scenes with his shirt off or there'll be nothing to save this one.

-------------------------------

Finally...

We all know Helen Keller is an icon of the strength of the human spirit. We al know the story of how she overcame seemingly insurmountable obstacles being blind, deaf, and mute to become a college graduate, author, activist, and teacher but did you know she was also abducted by aliens?

Water. Water, Helen. Waaaater.

That's right. In 1938 while she was outside making up funny names for different parts of her body, she was taken up by an alien spacecraft where she was subjected to  "Unspeakable experiments in science against my person." as she described it.

This little known event is being examined in detail in a new documentary, Helen Keller's Alien Anal Probe. In an amazing casting coup, the part of Miss Keller will be played by Jodie Foster. The broadcast will be treated as a special event with lots of commercial interruptions to help cover the cost of hiring an Oscar-winning actress to play the lead in a television documentary.

The program will air on Discovery this Winter.

PRAY YOUR TROUBLES AWAY

Seeking to put an immediate end to the impeachment inquiry into the Trump White House, Vice President Mike Pence has tapped into his Christian powers of prayer and turned to God for help. Pence has been leading daily prayer requests, beseeching the Almighty to intervene on his behalf and stop the impeachment against Trump from proceeding.

Holy Father, please protect our corruption 
and smite our Democrat persecutors.

"He prays all the time, usually for the swift passage of Republican legislation but lately there's been a lot of requests for help with the impeachment." said Dem Senator Hank Branch. "I'm not sure if he expects God to reach down and use his God powers to make us forget about impeachment or if he's hoping all the Democratic members of the House spontaneously combust but he's clearly waiting for something to take place."

So far, Pence's prayers have gone unanswered as the impeachment continues to expand with each new outrage and act of defiance coming from Trump including a written notification to the impeachment committee that the White House will not cooperate with the inquiry and branding it as unconstitutional. An unusual charge to make against a procedure outlined in the Constitution.

Regardless, Pence continues his daily entreaties certain that God will come through for him. "There will be no impeachment of this President. It's wrong and Heaven won't allow it. It's just a matter of persistence. I will continue to pray until my prayers are answered and the Power of God prevails. His will be done." Pence said.

And what if God's will is that Trump be impeached and removed and all those who were complicit are met by the full force of law?

"That is not God's will."

I guess we'll see.

OH NO, IT'S TOGO!

The tiny Republic of Togo -- a country in West Africa -- wants so badly to become a player in global politics it has contacted the White House and left a message offering their service to investigate any of the Democrat rivals on which President Trump wants to get dirt.

"We will look into anyone the President wants us to and find the scandals no matter how deep they're buried." said Otome Otumbo, Under-Secretary of Political Objectives for the Togo government. "We'll prove Elizabeth Warren practices witchcraft, that Bernie Sanders is a High Priest in the Church of Satan, and Joseph Biden makes sex with crack whores. We can find it whether it's real or not. We hope this greatest of presidents will consider our offer."

It's certainly a tempting offer by Trump administration standards and the President has expressed his interest but he tempers that interest with skepticism. "I like it but Togo is a tiny place with not a lot of money. Their GDP is half my personal fortune. Still, I like what they're proposing and they have the right attitude. Maybe but I'm not sure."

Otumbo counters such concerns by arguing, "We are small but that is to our advantage. No one sees Togo coming and by the time they do see us, we've already taken many notes and shot much video."

Togo sees this move as a major step toward a larger role in global politics and hopes they can position themselves as the go-to country for this sort of government muckraking and political infighting. They've even gone so far as to have already branded themselves for this purpose with the simple but memorable slogan  -- GO TO TOGO.

When asked how this idea as government spies-for-hire came about, Otumbo replied, "Trump has created a political atmosphere rife with anger, paranoia, and desperation. In such an environment, opportunity is where you find it."

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TRUMPLAND THEME PARK IN DEVELOPMENT

Taking their cue from all the fun and adventure that is the Trump administration, FlubbCo Inc., a Chigago based entertainment company specializing in immersive family friendly experiences is currently in the design stage of a new theme park that will cater to the feverish and irrational love President Trump's base has for the embattled 45th Commander-in-Chief -- Trumpland.

The company pitched the project to Trump after a $70,000 donation to his re-election campaign. The President loved the idea and signed off on it committing to a budget of $1.7B in government funding for the project approved by Trump himself who redirected the money from Medicare, Social Security and the VA to pay for the park.

Trumpland Concept Art

"Trumpland will be a fun for the whole family kind of experience. A Donald Trump Disneyland, so to speak. It will feature shops, restaurants and plenty of rides that will put our guests right inside the carnival-like atmosphere of the Trump administration." said Rex Bletch, a public relations spokesman for FlubbCo. "We're going to give the Trump support base a unique and memorable odyssey into President Trump if President Trump were a theme park."

The park will open with 23 rides that include:

 - The Poller Coaster -- Like Trump's poll numbers this rollercoaster has peaks and drops but none of them are very big. It's about 38% of a good rollercoaster ride. It's not very exciting but it's reliable.

 - The Tweeter-Totter - A thrilling ride that sends guests spinning and revolving across multiple axes of motion while random Trump tweets are displayed on screens positioned around the ride.

 - Whack-a-Dem - Modeled after its namesake, WaD puts guests in control of a laser rifle that activates a hammer when the bullseye is hit and brings the hammer down on effigies of prominent Democrats like Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren and, of course, AOC among many others.

 - The 2nd Amendment Shooting Gallery - Pick up an AR-15 and aim for the the blue circles on the protesters at an anti-Trump rally on a hi-res display. The more you kill, the more you score. Pick off more than 100 anti-Trumpers and win a Certificate of Achievement. Sponsored by the NRA.

 - Space Force: Space Combat Adventure -- Board a Space Force Fighter and launch into a pitched battle against an army of Democrats armed with blasters trying to block funding for the much needed Space Force. Fight your way to full funding by eliminating the Democrat hordes.

There will be plenty of Trump merchandise and restaurants serving Trump's favorite foods so expect lots of McDonald's and KFC to fill those rumbling tummies.

The park is scheduled to open in Nashville, TN in the Summer of 2024 or as Trump puts it "Near the end of my second term and close to the start of my third."

DIGGING IN THE DIRT

President Trump's been a busy bee of late, focusing almost obsessively on digging up as much dirt as he can on his chief Dem rival, Joe Biden. He's not letting anything stop him, least of all some pesky impeachment inquiry. Even as his presidency is crumbling around him , he is focused on his re-election and he needs dirt on Biden. Lots of dirt and he doesn't care where he gets it.  Trump is, if nothing else, fully committed to his corruption. So much so that although he's already getting help from Russia, Ukraine, and he's hoping from China too, he now wants to expand his search for dirt on Biden by engaging the help of everyone no matter who they are. So even if you don't have vast sums of money to give to his campaign, you can still help Donald Trump in his quest for a second (and maybe a third) term.

How? Easy. Dirt. Any kind of dirt.

Trump's strategy for victory in 2020

Are you a waitress that served Biden a meal and he didn't leave a tip or maybe he undertipped you? Trump wants to hear from you.

Are you a doorman who didn't receive a thank you from Biden after holding the door open for him? Trump wants to hear from you.

Are you a Girl Scout who tried to sell Biden a box of Samoas and he declined to make the purchase? Trump wants to hear from you.

Are you anyone at all who ever overheard Biden complain about the weather, or traffic or anything? Trump wants to hear from you.

Trump's search for dirt is his prime concern even moreso than the impeachment. He's got plenty of people and an entire right-wing news channel willing to help him beat that and when he does, he'll need that dirt.

Donald Trump LOVES dirt. Donald Trump WANTS dirt. Donald Trump NEEDS dirt.

Donald Trump IS dirt.

TRUMP SUPPORTER DISORDER

Yesterday, the Cheetoh-in-Chief lost it during a Press conference in the East room and then again in a follow-up shortly thereafter. Trump was enraged by the ongoing impeachment inquiry and made his frustration known by raving crazily about how the Dems are out to get him, and how he's being piled on by everyone like no President in history, that he's innocent of any wrongdoing despite a mountain of evidence to the contrary, and he even rolled out his "I am a stable genius." claim again. His fact-free, lie heavy, semi incoherent, paranoid rant was not unlike watching a monkey fling its feces at an enemy.

The man is am imbecile running unhousebroken throughout the office of the presidency and still there's his base who will not abandon him for any reason.

His freakin' base.

They don't care that he lies constantly, that he's corruption personified, that he's incredibly racist, that his entire network of friends and associates are criminals, that there's credible evidence that he's a traitor who's compromised by a hostile foreign power, or that he's objectively stupid and can't string together a coherent thought because nothing matters to them. Nothing whatever.

This is a sickness of some kind and I'm going to take the lead and give it a name -- Trump Supporter Disorder -- a neurological condition characterized by willful ignorance, selective amnesia, misplaced hero worship and an overall political dumbness that affects a certain breed of conservative and for which there is no known cure.

Are you a Trump supporter? Do you fear you may be a Trump supporter? Is there some way to qualify one's self as a Trump supporter? Well, now there is. The Political Testing Laboratory of Oxnard has created this simple quiz to definitively identify if you suffer from TSD.

All answers are Yes or No but feel free to embellish in the comments.

------------------------

1. Do you believe all of Trump's scandals are just Democrat hoaxes?

2. Do you masturbate to Trump's Twitter feed?

3. Do Trump's incomprehensible speeches make perfect sense to you?

4. Does Trump deserve a Nobel Peace Prize for...something?

5. Do you think Trump could do your 9 year old's homework correctly?

6. Would you trust Trump with your credit card?

7. Was Donald Trump chosen by God to save America?

8. Is all news fake except for what you hear on Fox?

9. Is Trump even qualified enough to be night manager at a Circle K?

10. Do you believe Trump's claim that he's a stable genius?

11 Do you make $35,000 annually and still think Trump cares about you?.

12. Do you wish Trump could be President forever and ever and ever?

--------------------------

If you said "Yes" to any three or more of these questions, you're delusional, ignorant, and either can't see reality or choose not to. In other words, we're sad to inform you that you're suffering from TSD and that, yes, you are a Trump supporter.

You may feel compelled to go out and kick a brown person, most likely an immigrant.

Don't.

IMMORTALITY IS NOW A REALITY...SORT OF

Everybody wants to live a long time. Some people want to live forever but we're limited by these flawed organic shells we occupy. Out bodies are fragile and given to innumerable diseases and/or illnesses that could reduce one's life expectancy by  any number of years whether it be from diabetes, cancer, organ failure or chronic conditions of all kinds.

Even under the best of circumstances: genetic advantages, perfect health, luck -- the most you can realistically hope for is to reach 100 or so. After that, facts are facts, people wear out and then you die. Dying sucks. You don't get to go waterskiing, or hiking, or feel the rain on your face, or smell the pretty flowers, or have hot, wet monkey sex, or anything. Ever again.

People have dreamt of conquering death for as long as there have been people dying -- it's one of the reasons religion was invented -- but it's also been speculated upon by science or at least by science fiction through the concept of implanting one's consciousness into a durable, undying artificial body.

It's a wild idea. To begin with, the technology to build a fully functional artificial human body doesn't even exist and if it did it would be hugely expensive. Also, since this wouldn't take place until after death it's unlikely your insurance would cover the cost of what would probably be a million dollar procedure.

So it's out of reach. There's no way to do this. Death wins.

Wrong!

A new compamy, one that hasn't even been taken public yet has been hard at work on this very problem for the last several years and believe they have the solution. Automotron-X® a Rochester, NY based
start-up has announced that they're on the verge of offering an affordable solution that makes near immortality available to most people for a cost of about $50,000. They even offer financing plans.

Company Logo

Imagine it, your brain in an artificial body that will last long after your death and is immune from illness and disease -- all for just $50,000!

Now...there is a catch.

For that kind of money you don't get top of the line choices but what you do get is serviceable. The company has developed the procedure that enables them to remove your brain at the moment of death and keep it functioning but to keep costs down the receptacle you will occupy is modest.

Your sleek new body.

It's a repurposed computer case. The company has entered into a contract with computer manufacturer, Computek® to purchase the cases at a bulk rate in anticipation of very brisk business once they launch this product in the Spring.

The company believes many people will opt for this in anticipation of future upgrades. Automotron-X® spokesman, Russell van Damme (no relation to the actor) says, "Sure, it's a computer case now but down the line it will be a much nicer case, then maybe a car. Hell, if you can afford it, it could be a Ferrari. How cool would it be to have a Ferrari body?"

So science fiction is on the cusp of becoming science fact and we are now one big step closer to conquering death. Start saving up now because you never know when the grim reaper will come for you.  For those who may have moral or ethical questions of transferring human consciousness into a metal box like it's a can of Spam, ask yourself this; is it better to die and spend eternity without awareness in a wooden box or spend it in a metal box with awareness and the possibility of upgrades, maybe even into a Ferrari?

All I can say to that is VROOOOM!

MONETIZING THE AFTERLIFE

When you consider all the dead talent there is: Freddie Mercury, Michael Jackson, David Bowie, Mozart, Beethoven, Humphrey Bogart, Audrey Hepburn, Fred Astaire, Judy Garland, Elvis, Michelangelo, Edgar Allen Poe, Charles Dickens, Marilyn Monroe, Houdini and on, and on, and on...

If there was an afterlife, wouldn't all these dead artists still want to be practicing their craft? What happens once you've died and gone to Heaven? Do you just lose all interest in everything that meant something to you in life? If not, why wouldn't God have a company -- let's call it, the Dead Talent Agency -- and contract this amazing pool of talent out to continue to produce work here on Earth?

Is Hendrix just sitting around Heaven, plucking his guitar without an audience for eternity? What a waste! God needs to monetize the afterlife. There's a mountain of money to be made with all that classic talent just hanging out with nothing to do. Think about it; what would you pay for the NEXT album from Prince, or the NEXT book by HP Lovecraft?

God is sitting on a goldmine!

Before someone replies "But Cranky, you're an atheist." Sure but if I'm wrong and there is an afterlife, doesn't what I'm saying make sense? I'm not and there isn't but it's still fun to speculate.

What dead artist would you most like to hear from again?