On Oct 17th, Acting White House Chief of Staff, Mick Mulvaney gave a disastrous Press conference where he openly admitted that President Trump was guilty of soliciting foreign interference from Ukraine in the upcoming 2020 presidential election to benefit himself -- a charge the President had been denying for weeks. The blowback from this admission has been explosive.
The Capt. Crankypants Blog has scored the first interview with Mr. Mulvaney since yesterday's historic screw-up.
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Mick Mulvaney wondering if
Home Depot is hiring.
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MM: Thank you, Cranky. Nice to be here.
CC: Soooo, how does one put this; you really shit the bed, didn't you?
MM: Well, I think you're making more of the situ...
CC: No. You really shit the bed.
MM: Uhh, yes, I did.
CC: You openly admitted to the White House Press Corps that Donald Trump committed a crime.
MM: On reflection, I regret that choice.
CC: I'm sure you do. Was that a strategic decision made prior to taking the podium?
MM: Yes. It was believed that if we could normalize this sort of thing then we could get away with it now and in the future. After all, it had worked for the President in the past.
CC: But did it work for you?
MM: No. Regrettably, it did not.
CC: How would you describe the outcome of that press conference?
MM: I soiled the mattress.
CC: Are you saying you shit the bed?
MM: Yes. I defecated in the bed.
CC: You shit the bed, just say it.
MM: I defeca...
CC: You shit the bed.
MM: I shit the bed.
CC: I concur.
MM: I shit the bed.
CC: During that same Press conference you also stated that the Trump Doral Golf Resort in Miami was given the contract to host the 2020 G7 Summit. This is a property owned by the Trump Organization. Isn't that a direct violation of the Emoluments Clause?
MM: Nobody cares about that.
CC: I'm sorry, did you just say nobody cares about that?
MM: Not at all. Let me be clear; we don't expect that to be a concern for anyone.
CC: So you're hoping nobody cares about that.
MM: More or less.
CC: Were any other properties considered to host the event?
MM: Many others but the Doral Resort was clearly the best choice.
CC: How so?
MM: President Trump owns the Doral.
CC: Did you just admit to another criminal offense of the Trump Administration?
MM: I probably shouldn't have said that. Disregard. The Doral was chosen for reasons completely independent of its ownership.
CC: So you're walking back your previous statement like you tried to walk back what you said yesterday?
MM: I'm trying to.
CC: You're really not very good at this. In the wake of the fiasco you've created, what's next for Mick Mulvaney?
MM: Unemployment probably.
CC: Count on it. Trump is probably preparing the public statement of your firing as we speak.
MM: I have no doubt of that.
CC: Mick Mulvaney, soon to be Former Acting Chief of Staff and now world famous bedshitter, thank you.
MM: He also cheats on his wife and lies about everything.
CC: We know.
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