Capt. Crankypants

NEW SPONSOR -- FREDONIA BOARD OF TOURISM

Are you tired of taking expensive vacations to exotic destinations located halfway around the world? Ate you sick of all the hassle involved with documentation, passports, currency exchange, language barriers, and clashes of culture?

You don't need to go wreck diving in Micronesia, tour the pyramids at Giza, or scale Kilimanjaro to have a memorable vacation. All you need is to come visit beautiful Fredonia NY!

We even have a gazebo! Everybody loves a gazebo!

Fredonia offers small town charm with big city aspirations. Come see a movie in our theater,  drive down our road, stop in at any one of our many bars and get a much needed drink. This is also home to Fredonia State University where you can come cheer on the FSU Blue Devils then go out for more drinks at one of the many bars we mentioned earlier. There's lots of trees that turn pretty colors in the Fall and if you're feeling the lure of the beach, we have the sparkling blue waters of spectacular Lake Erie within easy driving distance overlooking the serene remains of the Niagara Mohawk Power Plant.

We also have buildings where people work and homes where they live at the end of the day. There's a few doctors available if you're feeling ill and a couple of funeral parlors if things take a turn for the worse.

So forget taking that 20-hour flight to New Zealand -- planes crash all the time -- and take a nice safe 3-hour flight to magnificent Fredonia, NY and bask in the quiet charms of this lovely Western NY hamlet.