Capt. Crankypants

WEALTH SHAMING

Democrat late-comer to the 2020 race for the nomination for President, former NYC Mayor, Michael Bloomberg, has been publicly taunting President Trump with the size of his fortune, boasting that he makes more on the interest on his vast wealth alone than Trump's entire fortune. Bloomberg, whose wealth is in excess of $50B is vastly richer than Trump and sees that as a way to get under the President's incredibly thin skin.

It seems to be working too. Bloomberg's claims have clearly rankled the President who's very touchy about being viewed as anything less than a multi-billionaire. "Bloomberg has no idea what my worth is. I'm worth so much more than he knows. I have huge sums of money. Huge! So much money that even I'm not sure how much I have but it's way more than what he's thinking. I promise you that." Trump said in response.

Bloomberg in turn has suggested that they settle the issue by making their tax returns public, a suggestion that Trump immediately rejected. "Everyone knows my taxes are under audit and can't be released. but if they could be, you'd see how incredibly rich I am and there would be no question that my wealth is huge. It's so huge that you just won't believe it. You'll say, 'Wow, look how huge the President's wealth is. It's massive and huge. Like my penis'" he said.

Trump's penis not withstanding, his continued refusal to prove his true worth is a thread that can be pulled on to help unravel his re-election. Although it might be easier for Bloomberg to simply offer Trump $100M just to go the fuck away.

 He'd take it.